Sunday, January 19, 2014

My body is beautiful, no matter what you say

So, to be completely transparent, I am feeling SUPER vulnerable about this post.  I am not one to post a lot of "selfies," but I am sharing one at the end of this post as my "before marathon training" photo.  I am not the type of person to show a lot of skin.  I can't remember the last time I rocked a bikini, I don't really wear dresses that go above the knee, I don't wear shorts during the summer time.  I don't mind showing off my curves, but I still keep pretty covered up.  HOWEVER, in the last year I have gone through a crazy confidence boost and a lot of realizations about body image and how it affects your life/overall perspective.  A few months back, I had this moment where I looked in the mirror and thought I was fat.  No matter how many times I looked at the scale and it said "Chick, you lost 35 pounds!" I still felt like I wasn't thin/sexy/beautiful enough.

Then something happened.  I can't even tell you what that something was.  But I just looked at myself in the mirror and thought to myself 'Damn, Lex, you are beautiful."  And it wasn't because of the weight loss.  I just realized how pretty I am.  Because of my features, because of my courageousness, because of my brutal honesty, because of my fears, because of my emotional scars.  All of that is what makes me a woman and what makes me beautiful inside and out.  There is no reason why I should pass by Victoria's Secret ads on the street and feel like I am not pretty enough or good enough because I don't look like those women. But I also shouldn't blame those women for the way they look; they are beautiful too.

I know so many women cover up because of a blemish, a roll, a hair, etc.  I used to be one of those women, and in a lot of ways I still am.  But that's why I wanted to share this "before" pic.  I know that there is a good chance as I start marathon training this year that my body will undergo a lot of changes.  So I took this picture so I can get a better visual of what those changes might look like.  It has already been a great motivation to see what I looked like 5 years ago compared to now.  But most of all, I took this pic because I realized that there is also the chance that my body stays the same.  It might not change at all.  And for the first time in my life, I am feeling totally ok with that.  Yeah, I have a gut, I got some rolls on my back, some hair here and there, moles and beauty marks, stretch marks, and I just don't give a damn anymore.  I share this picture to all my fellow women, begging you to not just say your body is beautiful, but to believe it with every fiber of your being.


YOU.  ARE.  GORGEOUS.  



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5 comments:

  1. Mindy MatijasevicJanuary 20, 2014 at 4:34 AM

    thanks for sharing. we all go through so freakin' much.

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    1. LexyJanuary 20, 2014 at 5:15 AM

      Don't we? It's so crazy. Thanks for the appreciation :-)

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  2. AnonymousJanuary 20, 2014 at 4:43 AM

    I needed to read this. Thank you.

    As a woman whose body has been through hell and back, I fight every day not to see the worst in myself. Not to see the thing which I had become.
    As a result of BDD, I am quite literally incapable of seeing myself as others might.
    Which is why, about a year ago, I began taking pictures of myself. Not so that I could spam everyone with obnoxious selfies, but because I realised that setting a static image of myself granted me the opportunity to objectively view what was plain to everyone else.
    It's been an interesting journey, this past year... And I wish you well on yours.
    When you look back on this, it'll feel surreal.

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    Replies
    1. LexyJanuary 20, 2014 at 5:14 AM

      Gail, I LOVE that..."setting a static image of myself..." It's funny, people see US every day and for some reason we something different when we look in the mirror. I will definitely be more open to taking my own pictures and letting other people take pictures of me and not run away from what I look like. Thanks again for your kind words Gail.

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  3. Tina SharpJanuary 26, 2014 at 10:03 PM

    Woohoo! We need more self-love around here. It's hard for me and a lot of people, but it is so important for us to love ourselves, flaws and all!

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